Clashing Thoughts
by BrighterBlissfulness
Summary: She feels like their love is unrequited; he feels otherwise. She thinks she's worthless; he thinks she's the only light in his dark world. One moment will bring all their contradicting thoughts to rest. The question is, will they be able to work things out?


**Hello guys! BrighterBlissfulness here! :) This is my first time writing a Kuroshitsuji fanfiction. I've watched the anime only recently (thanks to my best friend df14-blacksnow for convincing me to watch it!) and eventually fell in love with it. It was so cool. \m/ :D**

**I know Ciel x Lizzy doesn't get much love as the other pairings do, but... I don't know. I just love their pairing! I find it cute and sweet. :)) I'm one of the few people who ships them together. Ahahahaha :D**

**I also just want to apologize if I made the characters quite OOC. :) Enjoy reading!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kuroshitsuji. ^^**

"Good morning, Ciel! It's such a wonderful day, isn't it?" Elizabeth Middleford greeted her fiancée in her usual, cheery tone. The young female noble came to the Phantomhive manor yesterday and insisted to stay for a week to spend some time with the young earl, who just recently got home from a mission that Her Majesty had requested him to solve. His companion was, as usual, his efficient and responsible butler, Sebastian Michaelis. The two went to an abandoned village located at a place not really known by everyone. It was a case of peculiar robberies and killings, which was nothing new to the pair. Together they investigated the heinous crime to catch the culprit. It took them only two days to do that, much to the dismay of the chief superintendent of Scotland Yard. The case yet again added another feather to the Phantomhive family's cap. Ciel was satisfied, but he was terribly exhausted when he finally got home. Elizabeth knew about this so she hurriedly went to the mansion without further ado. She knew Ciel's health condition and how tired he is after taking on a mission. She could easily see through him, for he was his fiancée and childhood friend. So she makes sure that she is always there when he comes home so that she can at least cheer him up or lessen the burden on his shoulders. She knew very well that Ciel did not really need her help, but she was determined to show him just how much she cared. She wanted him to know that she would stay by his side no matter what happens.

"Yes, it would appear that way," the head of the household replied with not even the slightest hint of cheerfulness in his voice. He sounded like a person living a life full of ironies to Elizabeth at that moment, however she paid no attention to this at all.

She smiled and nodded then said, "Ciel, would you mind accompanying me later after breakfast? I'd like to take a walk around with you."

Ciel sipped his cup of tea before looking at his fiancée. Elizabeth didn't know whether his eyes were expressing something or not. "I'm sorry, Lizzy," he said. "As much as I would like to, I have to decline your offer because I still have some work that I need to finish today."

"Work?" Lizzy raised her eyebrows in confusion. "But you just accomplished your mission, right?"

"It has something to do with the company, Lady Elizabeth," Sebastian, who just came in the room to serve the young couple another round of tea, cut in. "A report came in just early this morning. The Funtom Company seems to be lacking quite a huge amount of products. The reason behind is unknown."

"Those workers are probably slacking off again." Ciel narrowed his eyes and sighed in frustration. "It's time to replace them and get new people who are more responsible. They might even be sneaking out some of the toys."

"Oh! Well, do you want me to help you call some people?" Elizabeth suggested, eager to help. "I know a few ones who can-"

"Thank you, but that's alright, Elizabeth." The earl cut her mid-sentence. "I can ask Sebastian to do that. I don't want to cause you any trouble."

"It's no trouble, really-"

"Nevertheless, I don't want you involved in this." Ciel wiped his mouth with a table napkin and slowly stood up, not aware of the fact that what he just said offended her fiancée. "Please excuse me, Lizzy." He then looked at his butler. "Sebastian, take Lizzy to her room then go immediately to my office."

The loyal butler put his hand on his chest and bowed. "Yes, my lord."

And with that, earl Phantomhive left without speaking another word.

Lizzy looked in the direction where her betrothed had vanished to. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to stop herself from thinking about what Ciel had said before he left. He didn't want her involve? Why? Was it because he thinks she's not good enough? Pessimism and shame suddenly embraced the young lady's whole heart and soul. She silently blamed herself. _You're not thinking,_ Lizzy, she thought in sadness. This is all your fault. _You always annoy him, you always act like a nuisance..._

"Lady Elizabeth?"

Sebastian's calm and hushed voice brought the young noble back to reality. She was so busy reflecting on her actions and holding back her tears that she didn't hear him at all. "I'm sorry, what is it, Sebastian?"

The butler looked at her with a blank expression. He could tell that something was bothering his young master's fiancée. As a servant of the Phantomhives and the earl's most trusted ally, it is one of his duties to help solve whatever tight situation his master is caught into. And by the looks of it, he could tell that Lady Elizabeth's sudden lack of enthusiasm had something to do with Ciel. Clearing his throat, he then proceeded to ask, "Are you feeling well, my Lady? You look a little troubled."

Lizzy widened her eyes in surprise. She didn't know that she was being that obvious of her actions. She tried to play innocent, though. She couldn't let Sebastian know her thoughts... for now, at least. "I'm perfectly fine, Sebastian. What made you say that?"

Sebastian chuckled. "Forgive me for my words, my Lady, but I think you are not telling the truth. Your actions seem to speak otherwise."

Lizzy sighed. She figured that lying to the butler would be of no use at all. There's no running away from Sebastian when he senses that something is wrong. Leaning her head back onto her chair, she looked at the ceiling with a crestfallen expression.

"My Lady?" Sebastian put down the tray that he was carrying.

"Sebastian... If I die right now, do you think Ciel will cry?"

The black butler was taken aback by the question. It was so out of the blue that even the questioner was surprised too.

"What made you ask that all of a sudden, Lady Elizabeth?"

Lizzy gulped. "Um, nothing. Forget I said anything, Sebastian."

Sebastian eyed the blonde-haired girl. "I don't know what you are thinking, my Lady, but... The young master harbours strong feelings for you. He just doesn't show it often, considering his past and his lacking ability to express his true emotions. As we all know, he wears a blank expression all the time. But every time he talks about you or even hears your name, I've observed that his face somewhat softens and brightens up a bit. I think he cares a lot about you, Lady Elizabeth. After all, you serve as his ray of sunshine in his current cloudy, dark life."

Elizabeth couldn't believe what she was hearing. Those words coming from her beloved's usually silent and intimidating butler made it more unbelievable. Could it be true? "It's just that.. I think all I ever did to him was to annoy and disturb him. I can sense his irritation whenever I hug him, force him to do something with me, or decorate the manor with things that I like. Actually, before I even do any of those things, I already know that he's going to feel that way. I never wanted him to hold those negative feelings, but... I cannot think of anything more to do to cheer him up than that. I always see him so troubled, so sad, so stressed out; it's too much for me to bear. I know very well that he changed because of his past, and that made me want to help him more. I just want to see him happy again, just like the old times... That's why I do all those. I thought that maybe if I could bring back a little something from our childhood, he would definitely cheer up. But I guess I'm just doing the opposite..." She was letting her feelings to freely let themselves be expressed through words that she didn't notice the tears that were slowly streaming down her face. When she finally did, though, she quickly got a table napkin and gently dabbed it on her eyes. She chuckled a little bit. "I'm so silly, I shouldn't be crying. I'm sorry, Sebastian."

The butler was listening the whole time to his master's future wife and took every word that she had said into his mind. He had no idea that Elizabeth loved Ciel that much. Without his permission, a genuine smile made its way to his face. "You have nothing to apologize for, Lady Elizabeth," he said. "You were just expressing your feelings. I completely understand, because I know how my young master acts myself. It actually amazes me that you are going through such lengths to make him happy."

Elizabeth shot him a small smile. "You know, Sebastian, I envy you sometimes. You're so knowledgeable in possibly anything out there that's why you're always able to help Ciel. I wish I had that kind of talent too. Maybe if I were as wise and intelligent as you, I could have also helped Ciel in many ways than one." She blinked her eyes and lightly tapped her cheeks with her hands, as if she was attempting to wake herself up. "I apologize. I should not be drowning myself in self-pity."

"Lady Elizabeth, I assure you, if there's one person out there that you should not envy, it's me. I only do all those because it's a part of my job. But if I really made you feel that way..." The butler put his hand on his chest and bowed. "I sincerely apologize."

"Oh, no, no! You have nothing to apologize for, Sebastian! " The young noble suddenly exclaimed. "You always apologize even if there's no reason for you to do so. I'm actually thankful that you're always by Ciel's side. At least, that way, I know he'll always be safe." Lizzy stood and smiled at the butler. "Anyway, let's end this gloomy conversation, alright? It doesn't really suit me, and I think Ciel is already waiting for you."

Sebastian bowed. "As you wish, my Lady. Let me take you to your room."

Lizzy shook her head. "Oh, no, that's fine. I want to take a stroll around the garden and get some fresh air. You may go now, Sebastian. Thank you."

"Well, let me take you there, then," the butler insisted.

"It's really fine, Sebastian. Besides, I want to go there alone. You wouldn't disobey the orders of your master's fiancee too, would you? And now I am ordering you to go back to Ciel, so you must do just that."

Sebastian paused for a moment. Then he smiled and bowed again. "I must take my leave now, then. Have a pleasant time, Lady Elizabeth."

"Thank you. Oh, and Sebastian?"

"Yes?"

"As much as possible, do not speak a word from our conversation to Ciel, alright? I don't want to cause him any trouble."

The man bowed. "Yes, my Lady."

* * *

"You're late."

These were the words that greeted Sebastian when he finally got to his master's room. Ciel was in his usual seat, holding several leaves of paper in his hand.

The butler bowed. "I apologize, young master. I had to take care of something first."

"And what may that be? Taking Lizzy to her room? That would only take you a short while, Sebastian."

"Actually, I did not take Lady Elizabeth to her room anymore. She preferred to go to the garden and get some fresh air instead."

"Then what took you so long?"

Sebastian bowed. "I apologize, young master. I am not at liberty to speak any of it."

Ciel narrowed his eyes. "I am your master, Sebastian. You must tell me everything that you know."

"It is also important that I fulfill your fiancée's wishes, young master."

"It has something to do with Lizzy?" The young earl stood. "All the more reason that you should tell it to me, then. It is my right to know whatever is bothering her. I am her fiancée, after all."

"I am sorry, young master. I have to-"

"Sebastian, this is an order: speak."

The butler widened his eyes. A servant must never defy the orders of his master. And with their contract still in existence, Sebastian had no choice but to tell the truth to his young master even if it was against his will. He heaved a sigh. "Lady Elizabeth and I had quite a meaningful talk a while ago."

"About what?"

"About her feelings... towards you."

Ciel's eyes widened. "Her feelings towards me? What do you mean?"

"She feels like she does nothing but annoys and disturbs you even though she never intended to make you feel that way. She only wants to see you happy, just like back then, that's why she does all those things... But she feels like she's making you feel the exact opposite."

The young noble couldn't believe his ears. "What? What was she thinking? What made her say all those all of a sudden?"

The butler shook his head. "She didn't tell me that, but she did mention one thing that quite surprised me. She told me that she's envious of me sometimes because according to her, I'm always able to help you. She said, and I quote.. "If I were as wise and intelligent as you, I could have also helped Ciel in many ways than one.""

Ciel went silent after that. He couldn't believe that his fiancée was harbouring those feelings towards him. He didn't notice it, for she always seemed so bright and happy.

"I guess the bottom line of it all is that she feels like she's of no use at all to you, young master."

_She's helped me so much already,_ the earl thought. _She doesn't know just how thankful I am that she's always there..._

"And since I've already told you everything, young master, I think I might as well tell you what she told me that surprised me most of all."

Sebastian's statement made Ciel snap out of his thoughts for a while. "What might that be, Sebastian?"

"She asked me if you will cry if she dies right now."

"My whole existence will already be meaningless if Lizzy dies! She's all I have left!" The earl cried all of a sudden, which made the butler form a playful smirk on his face.

Ciel sighed. "That girl..." He felt ashamed of himself for a moment.

Suddenly, an idea came into his mind. He then looked at his butler with his eyes shining in determination. "Sebastian, this is an order..."

* * *

At the garden, Elizabeth was silently admiring the flowers that were in full bloom. She walked for a while before deciding to seek shelter under a giant oak tree.

She leaned her head onto the trunk, hoping that it would calm her thoughts for a while. She couldn't seem to find a way to remove Ciel from her mind. No matter how hard she tried, she would always end up thinking about him.

_I wish I could tell you all these feelings of mine,_ Ciel, she thought sadly. She closed her eyes_. I wish I could tell you...  
_  
A tickling sensation under her chin made her open her eyes all of a sudden. She looked down and was surprised to see a bouquet of fully bloomed pink flowers seated on her lap. She was even more surprised when she saw the person seated beside her, who was obviously the one who gave her the bouquet.

Elizabeth couldn't believe her eyes. "C-Ciel?"

Ciel looked at her and gave her a tiny smile. "Hello, Lizzy."

"Um, what's this for?"

The earl scratched his head and tore his gaze away from her for a while. "I'm not really good at this sort of thing, but I'll say it anyway." He laid his eyes on her again. "I'm sorry, Lizzy."

Confusion clouded the face of the pretty blonde-haired girl. "Sorry? For what?"

"For everything." He looked away again. "I feel so ashamed of myself. I'm sorry, Elizabeth... I guess I'm too focused on my own feelings that I fail to realize that you're always there for me."

Lizzy narrowed her eyes for a moment. "Sebastian told you something, didn't he?"

"Yes. He told me everything. I'm thankful that he did, because if he didn't, I would have never known that my betrothed's been keeping all these feelings that I was too naive to even notice."

The female noble sighed. "I told him not to tell you..."

Now it was Ciel's turn to narrow his. "Why not?"

Overwhelming tears suddenly tempted to fall from Lizzy's eyes, but she decided to hold it in instead. "I... didn't want to cause you trouble.."

Ciel heaved a sigh. "I guess it's my fault why you're feeling that way..."

Lizzy's eyes widened at that. "Oh, no, no! It's all my fault-"

"Lizzy, I know myself. Even if you say that it's not my fault, I know very well that all the blame goes to me."

"N-No... I mean, I'm the one being clingy and overly-attached to you.."

"You may not believe me when I say this, but... I don't really mind when you do all those things that you do to me."

That made Lizzy's pessimistic thoughts vanish all of a sudden. "R-Really?"

"I admit, there were times when I felt a little irritated, but that's only because your visits sometimes were unexpected... And you know very well that I pretty much isolated myself from the outside world ever since I lost my parents. I was indulging myself too much with all the sorrow and pain... But that's the biggest mistake that I've made, because doing that made you feel like I'm pushing you away already."

"C-Ciel.."

"But you don't know just how grateful I am that you're always there for me. You don't know just how much of my worries are lessened whenever I come home from a mission and you're always there to greet me. You don't know how much you've helped me conquer the ups and downs of my life. You never fail to amaze me, Elizabeth, because despite everything that I have done, you never get tired of me."

"Ciel... I'll never get tired of you. I... I love you too much," she said, blushing.

"I know." Ciel leaned his head onto the tree's trunk. "And I'm really, really thankful for that. Sometimes, I think I just don't deserve someone like you in my life. You deserve someone better than me."

Tears now started to fall from Lizzy's eyes. "You're.. You're not thinking of breaking our engagement now, are you?"

Ciel's eyes widened. He immediately sat tall. "What? No! Of course not! You're all I have left, Lizzy! I can't afford to lose you anymore!"

He took a deep breath to regain his composure. He looked down. "It may sound so selfish, but... At this situation, I'd rather choose being selfish than letting you go."

Lizzy was so moved by her fiancée's words. She reached out her hand and held his in hers. "If that's your definition of selfish, Ciel, then I don't mind you being selfish at all. I'd rather you stay that way. I can't afford to lose you either. Leaving after being with you for a day is already hard for me, how much more when we completely let go for each other?"

Ciel blushed a little at that. His feelings inside were already too much for him to handle that he did something to his fiancée that even she wouldn't expect him to do: pull her into a warm, loving embrace.

Lizzy was surprised at the sudden contact, but she obliged and hugged back with a smile on her face. Tears of happiness slowly streamed down her cheeks. She had waited long for this day to come; the day where Ciel would hug her in his own free will again.

"It's time I return the favor to you, since you always do this to me," he said, making a giggle escape from the girl's lips.

When they pulled back, Lizzy smiled possibly the brightest smile that Ciel had seen her muster. Ciel smiled back, causing her spirits to be lifted even more.

"Um, Ciel?"

"Yes, Lizzy?"

"Concerning your work... Do you mind if I help you out some time?"

"Lizzy..." The boy caressed the girl's cheek. "You've helped me so much already. That's not necessary."

"But I really, really want to help you... I mean, when we officially become husband and wife, it's not like I can just sit around and watch you fight your own battles, anyway.."

"Lizzy... Didn't I just say a while ago that I can't afford to lose you? Well, there's a possibility that that might happen if you take part of my work. It's very dangerous... You cannot predict what could happen next. It's a traitor."

"But Sebastian can-"

"Sebastian is a different story. Don't be envious of him. Yes, maybe he has helped me a lot in terms of work already, but you, Lizzy... You've helped me a lot in the more important aspects of my life, which I consider as more valuable than my work."

"What can I do to help you, then..?"

"You know that yourself, Lizzy. Greet me every time I come home from a mission, stay bright and colorful... Just do the usual things that you do. They help me a lot... They really do. Stay happy and safe, and that's enough for me. That's the biggest help that you could ever give."

The couple's conversation was interrupted by the melodious sounds of a violin being played. It seemed to be coming from inside the mansion.

Lizzy raised an eyebrow in wonder. "What's that?"

Ciel just smiled. "I guess it's time." He stood up and eventually helped his betrothed get on her feet.

Lizzy looked at him in confusion. "Time for what, Ciel?"

Ciel just gripped her hand gently and started to lead their way back to the manor. "Just follow me, Lizzy."

* * *

Floating balloons in every color imaginable.

Ribbons tied impeccably in every corner of the room.

Bright, glowing stickers on the walls of the manor.

The best stuffed toys of the Funtom Company scattered around in an "orderly" manner, if that was even possible.

Mouth-watering delicacies placed in a cart at the corner of the room.

The servants of the Phantomhive household, even Sebastian, dressed in possibly the cutest outfits ever.

It was probably the most adorable thing that Elizabeth Middleford had ever seen.

And the last thing that she had expected for the usually-formal Phantomhive mansion to turn into.

She was awestruck. It was too good to be true.

"Don't just stand there, Elizabeth," Ciel said all of a sudden. He looked at her.

Lizzy turned to face her fiancée. "Ciel, this is..."

The young earl just smiled. He then bowed and let out his hand for Lizzy to take. "May I have this dance, my Lady?"

Lizzy looked at his hand for a while. A smile then graced her face as she put her hand in his, permitting him to dance with her.

Ciel lead them to the center of the living room. Since the song that Sebastian was playing was romantically slow, Ciel decided to use the dance position for slow dances. He put his hands on Lizzy's hips while Lizzy put her hands on his shoulders.

While dancing, Lizzy decided to ask her betrothed that one question that she had been meaning to ask him ever since they arrived at the decorated manor. "Um, Ciel, what made you decide to decorate the house like this? I thought you never fancied this kind of set-up.."

Ciel chuckled. "It's nice to change its appearance once in a while, isn't it?"

"No, I mean... You did not just change the house's appearance. All of this... The toys, cakes, decorations.. I feel like they were all organized-"

"For you?"

She blushed. "Well, yes... Something like that."

Ciel looked down. "This is my way of saying that I truly am sorry for everything."

"What? You mean, you guys went through all the trouble of preparing all this just to say you're sorry?"

"...Yes."

"Oh, Ciel... You didn't have to! You didn't have to go to such lengths just to-"

"I'd go to greater lengths for you, Lizzy."

Lizzy was stunned when she heard that. If words could melt, she would have melted right there in front of him.

"Ciel... Thank you. You're so sweet. I really appreciate you doing this for me."

"No, Lizzy... I should be the one to thank you. Thank you for everything."

The couple smiled at each other. Together, they danced in comfortable silence.

...

...

"Uh... Lizzy?"

"Yes, Ciel?"

"I can't promise that I'll always be this light-hearted everyday... Maybe I'd be back to being serious again tomorrow, or maybe I'd feel irritated over some things again, but... If ever that happens, please just remember this moment, Elizabeth. And..." he paused, hesitating.

Lizzy leaned her head just a little closer to him, signaling him to go on. "What is it, Ciel?"

A faint color of red tainted the earl's cheeks. He looked down. "It's been a long time since I've said this..."

The blond-haired girl giggled. "You're so cute when you're flustered, Ciel. Come on, you can tell me anything."

Ciel took a deep breath to calm his nerves and finally looked at his fiancée again. "You're important to me, Lizzy. You've always been special to me. And.."

"And..?"

"I... I love you."

Lizzy was stunned. She couldn't believe what she just heard. "What was that?"

Ciel scratched his head. "Come on! You already heard me, Elizabeth!"

"W-well, I didn't clearly hear you! Come on, Ciel. Please?"

He sighed. He closed his eyes. He opened them again then looked straight into hers. "I love you, Lizzy. Always have, always will."

Tears suddenly fell from Lizzy's eyes. "Ciel... That's what I've been waiting for all along." She smiled. Her face was brimming with pure happiness.

Ciel gently wiped her tears with his thumb. "A-alright, stop crying now..."

His fiancée let out a giggle. Then she looked into his eyes too. "I love you too, Ciel. Always have, always will."

Lizzy had no idea just how much she made Ciel happy after she said those words. Ciel felt so good after hearing them. With his full consent, he leaned in a little closer to her, their foreheads touching each other and their faces merely inches away.

"Oh my goodness! Young master and Lady Elizabeth are going to kiss!" They heard MeyRin say in the background.

"This is my first time witnessing a romantic scene such as this!" Finny added gleefully.

Bard hushed the two of them. "Sshh, be quiet! They might not continue!"

The couple stared at each other for a while before letting out a hearty laugh. No way would they kiss each other for the first time with an audience. The two of them would rather do it privately, in a place where no one could see them.

They let their noses touch and rub gently against each other, much to the disappointment of the servants. They pulled away and smiled, and then both decided to continue their dance with their arms around one another.

Amidst the dancing, Sebastian and Lizzy caught each other's eye by accident. With her head resting on Ciel's shoulder, the female noble smiled at the butler and mouthed, "thank you."

Sebastian just smiled back and continued playing the violin, not wanting to stop unless the couple decided to do so. He knew that demons don't feel any emotions at all since they are not like humans, but at that moment, he felt like he was born as a full-blooded human being.

Because he felt happiness for the both of them.

**I feel giddy every time I imagine Ciel and Elizabeth actually doing this, haha! :)) Please review, I'd like to know your thoughts regarding this one-shot of mine. :) Thank you for reading! ^^ Stay safe and happy. :D**


End file.
